Post by Wrath on Mar 22, 2009 15:02:31 GMT -5
April 22
12pm
Age 7
Auntie and Uncle bought me this new diary today! They told me to write in it every day, and when I left I heard Uncle say that now I won’t bug them so much anymore.
I was sad when I heard that.
Today, my big brother Reggie caught a pokemon!
He said he caught a Starlee, and he said he’ll show it to me later! I’m really excited, cuz I’ve seen them flying around, but never up close.
Reggie’s 10 and a half, so he’s old enough to get a pokemon, but I’m only 7 so I’m not. I really want one, so I can show Auntie and Uncle that I can be like Reggie and that I’m not an annoying little kid like they always say.
April 23
5pm
Age 7
Reggie was out all day with his friends showing them his Starlee yesterday, so I never got to see it, even though he promised to show me. I saw it quickly today when he was showing Auntie and Uncle how he had trained it to fly through loops and stuff.
It looks really cool!
I really want a pokemon.
June 2
2pm
Age 7 and a half.
I lost this diary for 2 months, and Auntie shouted at me, but I found it today!
Reggie was training his Starlee a lot this whole time, and he’s still doing that. He says it’s going to evolve soon, into a Starayveeah. I asked if I could see when it did, and he said no, and called me an annoying baby. I tried to tell Auntie and Uncle on him but they weren’t home. Uncle was at the bar, and Auntie was the Game Corner. They always go there, all day, so when Reggie’s mean to me they can never help me.
Timmy from school tells me that his parents are always home with him, and that they say he’s too young to be home alone. I wish mom and dad were still alive, then they would take care of me, and stop Reggie when he’s mean.
June 4
7pm
Age 7 and a half
I was home all alone today because Uncle and Auntie took Reggie to the lost tower near Hearthome City. I was lonely, and there was a lot of wind and rain blowing outside, so I was a little scared.
But Reggie, Auntie, and Uncle got home a little while ago, and Reggie said he caught a Gaslee!
I don’t know what that is, but Reggie said it’s a scary ghost pokemon!
I REALLY wanna see the Gaslee!
He says he’s going to train it with his Starlee. He told me that he’ll lend me Starlee and we can battle one another! I can’t wait for that!
July 8
3am
Age 7 and a half
A lot happened last month.
The night Reggie got the Gaslee, after everyone went to sleep, I had a weird dream that I breathed in some funny purple gas, and suddenly I was moving. But it like something was controlling me, and I was too weak to stop it from making me move.
I woke up in the shed behind our house. I was really confused, so I tried to get out, but when I walked toward the door it closed on its own and something laughed and it was really scary and dark. Then everything in the shed started moving like it was alive. Some things flew around like someone was throwing them, so I hid and covered my face so they wouldn’t hit me. But some other things, like the garden hose, started acting like a Seviper and coming near me! Everything was moving…things that shouldn’t have been…
I was screaming, but Auntie and Uncle had taken their sleep medicine (they call it ‘wiskey’) so they were sleeping really deep and didn’t hear me.
I thought I heard Reggie laughing, and saying, ‘keep going Gaslee!’. I knew then it had to be just a nightmare, because Reggie could be mean but he would never do that.
The whole time, whenever I tried to get out, the door kept opening and closing. Then a pot or something came and hit my head, so I fainted.
I woke up later and the sun was out, but I was still in the shed, and my head was hurting. I started to cry. I was too scared to move, in case the door started slamming and opening in front of me again, but also I was sad because I realized it hadn’t been a dream, and Reggie really had done that to me.
Auntie and Uncle woke up later and they found me in the shed. It all kind of gets blurry in my head after that. I remember I screamed and kicked when they tried to pull me out of the shed, because I didn’t want to go out the door. Uncle was saying bad words, and he dragged me out. They put me in the living room and I just sat there for a really long time, and I remember I was shivering. I heard Auntie and Uncle yelling at Reggie. They said he shouldn’t have let Gaslee do that, even though it was just a prank, because child services will come and they’ll all get in trouble. They made him let the Gaslee go, and I’m glad. I don’t ever want to see a Gaslee again.
But now I can’t go near the Veilstone Department Store. Every time the door opens on its own I get really scared, even though Auntie tells me it’s just ‘Teknologee’. I don’t know who Teknologee is, but if he’s anything like Gaslee I don’t want to risk that he’ll trap me inside and make things fly around.
I’ve had nightmares since that night, and I can’t sleep. Auntie and Uncle keep taking lots of their special sleeping medicine, so when I go to them they don’t wake up, and I’m scared to be near Reggie at all.
The nightmares are why I’m up so late now. I don’t want to fall asleep, and when I’m writing in this diary it’s easier to keep awake.
I don’t know why Reggie did that prank. Ever since he’s got his pokemon he’s been mean to me, but this was so much worse than anything else. I feel so different. Like something in me has changed and my mind is all messed up.
If mommy or daddy were here they wouldn’t have let this happen. I miss you mommy. I miss you daddy. Why did you die? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me with Reggie?
September 12
5pm
Age 7 and a half
I started school again, and it’s not fun! Reggie told everyone in his grade about how I’m scared of moving doors, and now the whole school knows! Everyone makes fun of me… Reggie sees how mean they are to me, and he tried to stop them, but it’s too late now that they all know. He feels bad for telling them, but there’s nothing he can do anymore. I’m all alone.
May 5
8pm
Age 10
Veilstone is a big city. It ain't no hick town filled with old women who give you cookies. In Veilstone, people stick wiht others like them and beat up all others every chance they get. Tough guys and gamblers stick with other tough guys and other gamblers, and the drunks hang out with their drinking buddies. Even the schools are divided like this. But if there's one thing that breaks down the walls between everyone and brings them together it's a freak to hate on. A freak like me.
They've called me Grapehead and Paulie and other completely original names for years, cornering me every chance they get. But they've never punched me out, never beat on me. They're pansies, and I hardly care what they say anymore. So what if they make fun of my eyebrows and my hair colour?
But today they crossed the line. They went past the name calling. And one day soon they are going to pay for it.
We had a class fieldtrip today. It was a tour of Veilstone City. We saw all the landmarks of out 'diverse and noble' city. In other words we went to see the Game Corner and the Department Store. Unfortunately we had lunch right outside the Store so the chicks in my class could go shop or somethin'. Every time that damn door whooshed open and closed I shuddered. And people were watching me, and looking at the door. By the time I decided to high-tail it out of there, it was too late.
They grabbed me, pinned me, shoved me toward the doors. There were others there, just watching. Some laughed, or cheered. Even the teachers did nothing. They just stared, as if curious to see what I would do when I reached the doors. I fought best I could, but there were so many! Too many of them...There were so many of them pinning me to the ground in between the doors no one could get in or out. I punched them all. Boy or girl, I couldn't tell, but I was hitting and kicking and slamming them any way I could. I got free and I ran away from those doors. And those people. Those disgusting, cruel people! My knuckles were bleeding from all the punching I did. It's probably gonna scar, Reggie said when he saw.
I just think of all those hands touching me, restraining me, making me do something I don't wanna do. It reminds me of that morning after the Gastly incident, when Uncle was grabbing me, pulling me out of the shed. I didn't wanna go, but I was helpless to stop it. I was helpless today too. I will never let anyone touch me again. No one will ever be able to restrain me, and make me do something I don't want to do. NEVER AGAIN!
August 8
3pm
Age 10
Stupid Reggie!!
He’s such a little goody-goody in front of everyone. Two-faced idiot!
Whenever his pokemon win a battle, he tosses out compliments the way he throws insults at me. “Ooh, good job, Staravia.” “You worked so hard, Bibarel!”
SCREW YOU, REGGIE!
I’m his personal outlet to get out all that anger so he can be an angel to everyone else. I hate him, the disgusting idiot!
I took some of the pokemon he caught and I trained them, same way he does, by being kind to them. I let them rest when they got tired, I didn’t push them too hard and I ‘bonded’ with them. But when I battled Reggie I lost so badly…And Aunt and Uncle made fun of me for days! Reggie’s all, “Good effort, Paul! They’re well-trained, just keep at it!”
That’s the wrong way to train. I waste perfectly good energy making sure the pokemon feel good, instead of toughening them up! They get lazy when I’m nice. When I’m mean they work hard to impress me.
I won’t make the same mistake again. Never again.
I’ll beat Reggie! I’LL BEAT HIM!
September 27
4pm
Age 10
I stole some of Reggie’s pokeballs and caught my own pokemon. While doing this I noticed that some are stronger than others right off the bat. I’m getting good at spotting the weaklings, and I’ve started releasing any I catch who are weak.
Reggie ain’t gonna be the toughest one in the family for much longer.
October 15
4pm
Age 12
Look what I found. I haven’t written in this piece of crap for a couple years. Don’t even know why the hell I’m writing in it now, but whatever.
Well, I ain’t 7 or 10 anymore, so this journal needs an update. Life’s just peachy for me now. Reggie’s become a saint, Uncle Asshole quit drinking, and Aunt Bitch stopped gambling away all our money.
Yeah right.
If anything, Reggie’s gotten worse than he was when I last wrote. He torments me every chance he gets. It’s a good thing I’ve gotten better at stopping the bastard. I was such a little pansy when I was a kid. Whatever.
Oh. And let’s just say the Uncle and the Aunt still need rehab for their little vices.
Anyway, the kids at school who used to make fun of me for my ‘stupid’ fear after the Gastly incident have all been taught the hard way not to mess with me.
Except for one, looks like. Today some loser pressed that handicap button that makes the school doors open automatically, and I couldn’t get back in after recess because of it.
I got in trouble and all the teachers thought I was being a smartass when I told them I didn’t like automatic doors. Stupid bitches.
But the kid hadn’t had enough. Next recess he started making fun of me again. He drew a nice little crowd around us. I didn’t mind. I got a larger audience to see me punching him in the gut. He fell right over, the little weakling.
He got a nice concussion from hitting the ground. Funny as hell. Not only that, but I got suspended and sent home. Good thing Aunt and Uncle are never home. I was able to enjoy my free time, and crack open a few beers. It’s been a fun week.
October 16
5pm
Age 12
Thank Darkrai, and thank him again. Reggie just announced he’s leaving home for his pokemon journey! HELL YES!
October 27
2pm
Age 15
Reggie called the other day. Said he’s on his way home. He’ll be here tomorrow.
Three years ago, almost on the dot, he left. Now he’s got all the badges from the Hoenn, Kanto, Johto, and Sinnoh region, and 6 of the 7 Battle Frontier badges. Soon, that’ll be me. No, soon, I’ll be even better.
October 28
4pm
Age 15
Heh. Well, Reggie DEAREST came home. I was the only one home of course. Aunt Bitch and Uncle Asshole were still at the bar/game corner. He didn’t even look disappointed. He said he wanted to talk to me, alone. I told him, whatever, it’s not like anyone else is home to stop you trying.
You should have seen the pitiful bastard’s face. He looked so heartbroken I wanted to laugh.
Anyway, so he finally cornered me into a ‘brotherly talk’. He said, “Paul…I realize I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger. I thought I was the best because I had pokemon, and you didn’t, and I know I caused you a lot of pain. I know there’s nothing I can do to change that…but I just wanted to say I’m sorr—”
The rest got cut off ‘cause I punched him in the face. It hurt. I opened up the old cuts on my knuckles I got from school fights. But y’know what they say. It’s a good punch if you draw your enemy’s blood. But it’s a great punch if you draw your own. And lemme tell you, it was a supreme punch. First time I remember laughing, I mean REALLY laughing, in a very, very long time.
Anyway, Reggie fell right over and I kicked him a few times while he was down just for, well, kicks. Unfortunately right then Uncle barreled through the door, more unbalanced than a Spinda, he was so drunk. He ‘subdued me peacefully to protect his nephew’, as he told Officer Jenny. Sure. That’s why my face is swollen to kingdom come.
Anyway, we had to take Reggie to the hospital. I had dislocated his jaw and broken a couple of his ribs. And still, the bastard kept looking at me with pity like I was some injured Growlithe. He didn’t press charges, but the Uncle and the Aunt sure weren’t happy. They screamed at me, but I called them to their face what I’ve been calling them in my head for years (Uncle Asshole/Aunt Bitch) so they stopped, and just looked at my like they wanted to kill me.
October 30
6pm
Age 15
With Reggie back, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Nothing better to do since Aunt Bitch and Uncle Asshole hafta stay home all day to take care of poor, wounded Reggie, and whenever I try to leave the house they toss beer bottles at my head.
But anyway, I know now why I’ve kept writing in his stupid diary all these years, and why I will continue to do so. When I read my past entries all the pain, hurt, humiliation, and anger come back to me. This way I’ll never forget it. It’ll keep me strong, and I’ll never lose my resolve. I hope Reggie knows he’s on borrowed time. I don’t care that getting his ass kicked out there in the real world has converted the sadistic bastard, and now he’s actually sorry for what he did. He’s fucked up my life, and no amount of apologetic looks or kind words can make up for that. IT’S TOO GODDAMNED LATE!
I also realized I hate pokemon. All they’ve ever done is offer Reggie a good way to torment me. But they’re the tools that will allow me to beat Reggie. I’ve decided to follow the bastard’s footsteps. I’m leaving on my own pokemon journey. I will mold my pokemon into warriors, tearing away all their weakness, to get to the top. My end will justify my means. Not that I want to justify my means. Who gives a crap if a couple of filthy animals are all hurt that their trainer treats them like dirt?
I suffered for years. I think back at my life and I can’t believe I’ve endured this BULLSHIT for this long!
I’ll release anything I catch if it isn’t up to my standards. No exceptions, no second chances. I never got cut any slack, so why the fuck should I let any weaklings stay with me? I myself am stronger than I ever could have been if I’d been raised by loving guardians. My pokemon will be the same if I train them the way I’ve been raised.
And soon, so very soon, Reggie’ll see that 3 and a half years of a head start ain’t gonna do him any good.
November 4
5pm
Age 15
Yesterday the Aunt and Uncle kicked me out of the house. Reggie got his own place when he came home to Veilstone, and he said I could live with him. Hmph. I have no choice; better then ending up the victim of some drunken attack. Barely. Well, whatever. At least now I can see him often enough to watch him cringing from his healing ribs every once in a while. I do good work.
November 17
10am
Age 16
Reggie found my brochure about the Kanto region. He realized I was planning to go on my own journey, and that I was planning to go to Kanto, and he asked me how I was planning to get there. I didn’t say anything to the asshole, so he said if I was planning to use Staraptor I’d hafta enter in a contest first, since it is really his pokemon.
So I entered. It was the second worst day of my life. Except I won. Which is alright, ‘cause I didn’t lose, but since it’s a contest I don’t know whether to be ashamed or not. Whatever. I can use Staraptor and now Reggie gets to see that I win no matter what. He’ll get to see it firsthand when I get back, but this is just a taste.
November 23
2pm
Age 16
Heh. It’s weird. I just got into the Kanto region, and already it seems to me that all that time spent hating Reggie was a waste. I mean, no one knows who he is in any region. He’s not famous or anything. Beating him will barely help me achieve my goal. So, I’ve decided I can use his guilt to help me. When I have no room on my team he can take care of my pokemon for me. I’ll hafta be near Veilstone…but when I get back there it’ll work. I’ll get around to Reggie, but first I have to make a name for myself. I can’t waste time on him.
Speaking of Reggie’s guilt, though, I have to mention this. It’s hella funny.
So before I left on Staraptor he runs outside. Tells me he’s quit being a trainer and he’s gonna be a breeder. He then says something like, “Please, Paul, don’t leave like this! Don’t leave hating me. Our family is already torn apart, and you’re abandoning it in pieces!”
So I just said, “Like hell I’m the one ‘leaving it in pieces’. I’m not the one who did that, asshole.” Then I flew off, all dramatic. It wasn’t supposed to be like something out of some chick's soap opera, but I was in a hurry and he was holding me up, so that’s how it turned out. Can’t say it wasn’t funny to see him drop to his knees, heartbroken with guilt though.
But seriously, I have bigger Finneon to fry than him. He’s lucky ‘bout that.
{Undated}
Age 16
I don’t have time to write down any damned dates anymore! I got my starter from Prof. Oak; A PATHETIC, WEAK, FLUFFY LITTLE MAREEP!
I nicknamed it ‘Reeper’ ‘cause it’s a little more badass but it looks like the thing’s gonna get released. Hasn’t even learned thundershock. I trained it by tossing rocks and sticks at it and commanding it to dodge, but it failed at that even. Tripped over itself. It’s all weak and injured now, and it has welts from where the rocks hit it. Pathetic, weak, SHAMEFUL! I have my work cut out for me.
Damnit, it sucks being sober when I feel like this.
12pm
Age 7
Auntie and Uncle bought me this new diary today! They told me to write in it every day, and when I left I heard Uncle say that now I won’t bug them so much anymore.
I was sad when I heard that.
Today, my big brother Reggie caught a pokemon!
He said he caught a Starlee, and he said he’ll show it to me later! I’m really excited, cuz I’ve seen them flying around, but never up close.
Reggie’s 10 and a half, so he’s old enough to get a pokemon, but I’m only 7 so I’m not. I really want one, so I can show Auntie and Uncle that I can be like Reggie and that I’m not an annoying little kid like they always say.
April 23
5pm
Age 7
Reggie was out all day with his friends showing them his Starlee yesterday, so I never got to see it, even though he promised to show me. I saw it quickly today when he was showing Auntie and Uncle how he had trained it to fly through loops and stuff.
It looks really cool!
I really want a pokemon.
June 2
2pm
Age 7 and a half.
I lost this diary for 2 months, and Auntie shouted at me, but I found it today!
Reggie was training his Starlee a lot this whole time, and he’s still doing that. He says it’s going to evolve soon, into a Starayveeah. I asked if I could see when it did, and he said no, and called me an annoying baby. I tried to tell Auntie and Uncle on him but they weren’t home. Uncle was at the bar, and Auntie was the Game Corner. They always go there, all day, so when Reggie’s mean to me they can never help me.
Timmy from school tells me that his parents are always home with him, and that they say he’s too young to be home alone. I wish mom and dad were still alive, then they would take care of me, and stop Reggie when he’s mean.
June 4
7pm
Age 7 and a half
I was home all alone today because Uncle and Auntie took Reggie to the lost tower near Hearthome City. I was lonely, and there was a lot of wind and rain blowing outside, so I was a little scared.
But Reggie, Auntie, and Uncle got home a little while ago, and Reggie said he caught a Gaslee!
I don’t know what that is, but Reggie said it’s a scary ghost pokemon!
I REALLY wanna see the Gaslee!
He says he’s going to train it with his Starlee. He told me that he’ll lend me Starlee and we can battle one another! I can’t wait for that!
July 8
3am
Age 7 and a half
A lot happened last month.
The night Reggie got the Gaslee, after everyone went to sleep, I had a weird dream that I breathed in some funny purple gas, and suddenly I was moving. But it like something was controlling me, and I was too weak to stop it from making me move.
I woke up in the shed behind our house. I was really confused, so I tried to get out, but when I walked toward the door it closed on its own and something laughed and it was really scary and dark. Then everything in the shed started moving like it was alive. Some things flew around like someone was throwing them, so I hid and covered my face so they wouldn’t hit me. But some other things, like the garden hose, started acting like a Seviper and coming near me! Everything was moving…things that shouldn’t have been…
I was screaming, but Auntie and Uncle had taken their sleep medicine (they call it ‘wiskey’) so they were sleeping really deep and didn’t hear me.
I thought I heard Reggie laughing, and saying, ‘keep going Gaslee!’. I knew then it had to be just a nightmare, because Reggie could be mean but he would never do that.
The whole time, whenever I tried to get out, the door kept opening and closing. Then a pot or something came and hit my head, so I fainted.
I woke up later and the sun was out, but I was still in the shed, and my head was hurting. I started to cry. I was too scared to move, in case the door started slamming and opening in front of me again, but also I was sad because I realized it hadn’t been a dream, and Reggie really had done that to me.
Auntie and Uncle woke up later and they found me in the shed. It all kind of gets blurry in my head after that. I remember I screamed and kicked when they tried to pull me out of the shed, because I didn’t want to go out the door. Uncle was saying bad words, and he dragged me out. They put me in the living room and I just sat there for a really long time, and I remember I was shivering. I heard Auntie and Uncle yelling at Reggie. They said he shouldn’t have let Gaslee do that, even though it was just a prank, because child services will come and they’ll all get in trouble. They made him let the Gaslee go, and I’m glad. I don’t ever want to see a Gaslee again.
But now I can’t go near the Veilstone Department Store. Every time the door opens on its own I get really scared, even though Auntie tells me it’s just ‘Teknologee’. I don’t know who Teknologee is, but if he’s anything like Gaslee I don’t want to risk that he’ll trap me inside and make things fly around.
I’ve had nightmares since that night, and I can’t sleep. Auntie and Uncle keep taking lots of their special sleeping medicine, so when I go to them they don’t wake up, and I’m scared to be near Reggie at all.
The nightmares are why I’m up so late now. I don’t want to fall asleep, and when I’m writing in this diary it’s easier to keep awake.
I don’t know why Reggie did that prank. Ever since he’s got his pokemon he’s been mean to me, but this was so much worse than anything else. I feel so different. Like something in me has changed and my mind is all messed up.
If mommy or daddy were here they wouldn’t have let this happen. I miss you mommy. I miss you daddy. Why did you die? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me with Reggie?
September 12
5pm
Age 7 and a half
I started school again, and it’s not fun! Reggie told everyone in his grade about how I’m scared of moving doors, and now the whole school knows! Everyone makes fun of me… Reggie sees how mean they are to me, and he tried to stop them, but it’s too late now that they all know. He feels bad for telling them, but there’s nothing he can do anymore. I’m all alone.
May 5
8pm
Age 10
Veilstone is a big city. It ain't no hick town filled with old women who give you cookies. In Veilstone, people stick wiht others like them and beat up all others every chance they get. Tough guys and gamblers stick with other tough guys and other gamblers, and the drunks hang out with their drinking buddies. Even the schools are divided like this. But if there's one thing that breaks down the walls between everyone and brings them together it's a freak to hate on. A freak like me.
They've called me Grapehead and Paulie and other completely original names for years, cornering me every chance they get. But they've never punched me out, never beat on me. They're pansies, and I hardly care what they say anymore. So what if they make fun of my eyebrows and my hair colour?
But today they crossed the line. They went past the name calling. And one day soon they are going to pay for it.
We had a class fieldtrip today. It was a tour of Veilstone City. We saw all the landmarks of out 'diverse and noble' city. In other words we went to see the Game Corner and the Department Store. Unfortunately we had lunch right outside the Store so the chicks in my class could go shop or somethin'. Every time that damn door whooshed open and closed I shuddered. And people were watching me, and looking at the door. By the time I decided to high-tail it out of there, it was too late.
They grabbed me, pinned me, shoved me toward the doors. There were others there, just watching. Some laughed, or cheered. Even the teachers did nothing. They just stared, as if curious to see what I would do when I reached the doors. I fought best I could, but there were so many! Too many of them...There were so many of them pinning me to the ground in between the doors no one could get in or out. I punched them all. Boy or girl, I couldn't tell, but I was hitting and kicking and slamming them any way I could. I got free and I ran away from those doors. And those people. Those disgusting, cruel people! My knuckles were bleeding from all the punching I did. It's probably gonna scar, Reggie said when he saw.
I just think of all those hands touching me, restraining me, making me do something I don't wanna do. It reminds me of that morning after the Gastly incident, when Uncle was grabbing me, pulling me out of the shed. I didn't wanna go, but I was helpless to stop it. I was helpless today too. I will never let anyone touch me again. No one will ever be able to restrain me, and make me do something I don't want to do. NEVER AGAIN!
August 8
3pm
Age 10
Stupid Reggie!!
He’s such a little goody-goody in front of everyone. Two-faced idiot!
Whenever his pokemon win a battle, he tosses out compliments the way he throws insults at me. “Ooh, good job, Staravia.” “You worked so hard, Bibarel!”
SCREW YOU, REGGIE!
I’m his personal outlet to get out all that anger so he can be an angel to everyone else. I hate him, the disgusting idiot!
I took some of the pokemon he caught and I trained them, same way he does, by being kind to them. I let them rest when they got tired, I didn’t push them too hard and I ‘bonded’ with them. But when I battled Reggie I lost so badly…And Aunt and Uncle made fun of me for days! Reggie’s all, “Good effort, Paul! They’re well-trained, just keep at it!”
That’s the wrong way to train. I waste perfectly good energy making sure the pokemon feel good, instead of toughening them up! They get lazy when I’m nice. When I’m mean they work hard to impress me.
I won’t make the same mistake again. Never again.
I’ll beat Reggie! I’LL BEAT HIM!
September 27
4pm
Age 10
I stole some of Reggie’s pokeballs and caught my own pokemon. While doing this I noticed that some are stronger than others right off the bat. I’m getting good at spotting the weaklings, and I’ve started releasing any I catch who are weak.
Reggie ain’t gonna be the toughest one in the family for much longer.
October 15
4pm
Age 12
Look what I found. I haven’t written in this piece of crap for a couple years. Don’t even know why the hell I’m writing in it now, but whatever.
Well, I ain’t 7 or 10 anymore, so this journal needs an update. Life’s just peachy for me now. Reggie’s become a saint, Uncle Asshole quit drinking, and Aunt Bitch stopped gambling away all our money.
Yeah right.
If anything, Reggie’s gotten worse than he was when I last wrote. He torments me every chance he gets. It’s a good thing I’ve gotten better at stopping the bastard. I was such a little pansy when I was a kid. Whatever.
Oh. And let’s just say the Uncle and the Aunt still need rehab for their little vices.
Anyway, the kids at school who used to make fun of me for my ‘stupid’ fear after the Gastly incident have all been taught the hard way not to mess with me.
Except for one, looks like. Today some loser pressed that handicap button that makes the school doors open automatically, and I couldn’t get back in after recess because of it.
I got in trouble and all the teachers thought I was being a smartass when I told them I didn’t like automatic doors. Stupid bitches.
But the kid hadn’t had enough. Next recess he started making fun of me again. He drew a nice little crowd around us. I didn’t mind. I got a larger audience to see me punching him in the gut. He fell right over, the little weakling.
He got a nice concussion from hitting the ground. Funny as hell. Not only that, but I got suspended and sent home. Good thing Aunt and Uncle are never home. I was able to enjoy my free time, and crack open a few beers. It’s been a fun week.
October 16
5pm
Age 12
Thank Darkrai, and thank him again. Reggie just announced he’s leaving home for his pokemon journey! HELL YES!
October 27
2pm
Age 15
Reggie called the other day. Said he’s on his way home. He’ll be here tomorrow.
Three years ago, almost on the dot, he left. Now he’s got all the badges from the Hoenn, Kanto, Johto, and Sinnoh region, and 6 of the 7 Battle Frontier badges. Soon, that’ll be me. No, soon, I’ll be even better.
October 28
4pm
Age 15
Heh. Well, Reggie DEAREST came home. I was the only one home of course. Aunt Bitch and Uncle Asshole were still at the bar/game corner. He didn’t even look disappointed. He said he wanted to talk to me, alone. I told him, whatever, it’s not like anyone else is home to stop you trying.
You should have seen the pitiful bastard’s face. He looked so heartbroken I wanted to laugh.
Anyway, so he finally cornered me into a ‘brotherly talk’. He said, “Paul…I realize I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger. I thought I was the best because I had pokemon, and you didn’t, and I know I caused you a lot of pain. I know there’s nothing I can do to change that…but I just wanted to say I’m sorr—”
The rest got cut off ‘cause I punched him in the face. It hurt. I opened up the old cuts on my knuckles I got from school fights. But y’know what they say. It’s a good punch if you draw your enemy’s blood. But it’s a great punch if you draw your own. And lemme tell you, it was a supreme punch. First time I remember laughing, I mean REALLY laughing, in a very, very long time.
Anyway, Reggie fell right over and I kicked him a few times while he was down just for, well, kicks. Unfortunately right then Uncle barreled through the door, more unbalanced than a Spinda, he was so drunk. He ‘subdued me peacefully to protect his nephew’, as he told Officer Jenny. Sure. That’s why my face is swollen to kingdom come.
Anyway, we had to take Reggie to the hospital. I had dislocated his jaw and broken a couple of his ribs. And still, the bastard kept looking at me with pity like I was some injured Growlithe. He didn’t press charges, but the Uncle and the Aunt sure weren’t happy. They screamed at me, but I called them to their face what I’ve been calling them in my head for years (Uncle Asshole/Aunt Bitch) so they stopped, and just looked at my like they wanted to kill me.
October 30
6pm
Age 15
With Reggie back, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Nothing better to do since Aunt Bitch and Uncle Asshole hafta stay home all day to take care of poor, wounded Reggie, and whenever I try to leave the house they toss beer bottles at my head.
But anyway, I know now why I’ve kept writing in his stupid diary all these years, and why I will continue to do so. When I read my past entries all the pain, hurt, humiliation, and anger come back to me. This way I’ll never forget it. It’ll keep me strong, and I’ll never lose my resolve. I hope Reggie knows he’s on borrowed time. I don’t care that getting his ass kicked out there in the real world has converted the sadistic bastard, and now he’s actually sorry for what he did. He’s fucked up my life, and no amount of apologetic looks or kind words can make up for that. IT’S TOO GODDAMNED LATE!
I also realized I hate pokemon. All they’ve ever done is offer Reggie a good way to torment me. But they’re the tools that will allow me to beat Reggie. I’ve decided to follow the bastard’s footsteps. I’m leaving on my own pokemon journey. I will mold my pokemon into warriors, tearing away all their weakness, to get to the top. My end will justify my means. Not that I want to justify my means. Who gives a crap if a couple of filthy animals are all hurt that their trainer treats them like dirt?
I suffered for years. I think back at my life and I can’t believe I’ve endured this BULLSHIT for this long!
I’ll release anything I catch if it isn’t up to my standards. No exceptions, no second chances. I never got cut any slack, so why the fuck should I let any weaklings stay with me? I myself am stronger than I ever could have been if I’d been raised by loving guardians. My pokemon will be the same if I train them the way I’ve been raised.
And soon, so very soon, Reggie’ll see that 3 and a half years of a head start ain’t gonna do him any good.
November 4
5pm
Age 15
Yesterday the Aunt and Uncle kicked me out of the house. Reggie got his own place when he came home to Veilstone, and he said I could live with him. Hmph. I have no choice; better then ending up the victim of some drunken attack. Barely. Well, whatever. At least now I can see him often enough to watch him cringing from his healing ribs every once in a while. I do good work.
November 17
10am
Age 16
Reggie found my brochure about the Kanto region. He realized I was planning to go on my own journey, and that I was planning to go to Kanto, and he asked me how I was planning to get there. I didn’t say anything to the asshole, so he said if I was planning to use Staraptor I’d hafta enter in a contest first, since it is really his pokemon.
So I entered. It was the second worst day of my life. Except I won. Which is alright, ‘cause I didn’t lose, but since it’s a contest I don’t know whether to be ashamed or not. Whatever. I can use Staraptor and now Reggie gets to see that I win no matter what. He’ll get to see it firsthand when I get back, but this is just a taste.
November 23
2pm
Age 16
Heh. It’s weird. I just got into the Kanto region, and already it seems to me that all that time spent hating Reggie was a waste. I mean, no one knows who he is in any region. He’s not famous or anything. Beating him will barely help me achieve my goal. So, I’ve decided I can use his guilt to help me. When I have no room on my team he can take care of my pokemon for me. I’ll hafta be near Veilstone…but when I get back there it’ll work. I’ll get around to Reggie, but first I have to make a name for myself. I can’t waste time on him.
Speaking of Reggie’s guilt, though, I have to mention this. It’s hella funny.
So before I left on Staraptor he runs outside. Tells me he’s quit being a trainer and he’s gonna be a breeder. He then says something like, “Please, Paul, don’t leave like this! Don’t leave hating me. Our family is already torn apart, and you’re abandoning it in pieces!”
So I just said, “Like hell I’m the one ‘leaving it in pieces’. I’m not the one who did that, asshole.” Then I flew off, all dramatic. It wasn’t supposed to be like something out of some chick's soap opera, but I was in a hurry and he was holding me up, so that’s how it turned out. Can’t say it wasn’t funny to see him drop to his knees, heartbroken with guilt though.
But seriously, I have bigger Finneon to fry than him. He’s lucky ‘bout that.
{Undated}
Age 16
I don’t have time to write down any damned dates anymore! I got my starter from Prof. Oak; A PATHETIC, WEAK, FLUFFY LITTLE MAREEP!
I nicknamed it ‘Reeper’ ‘cause it’s a little more badass but it looks like the thing’s gonna get released. Hasn’t even learned thundershock. I trained it by tossing rocks and sticks at it and commanding it to dodge, but it failed at that even. Tripped over itself. It’s all weak and injured now, and it has welts from where the rocks hit it. Pathetic, weak, SHAMEFUL! I have my work cut out for me.
Damnit, it sucks being sober when I feel like this.
